passion's killing floor

:/

2008-03-14T18:57:00.000-07:00

Well I aint supposed to be home now, but oh well, shit happens sometimes, or maybe all the time for me. At one moment you can feel really excited and happy and then it just takes something to turn that excitement into utter disappointment. Cause like, you prepared for it, You cancelled other plans just for this night, and to have it stripped of you, its really sad. Its really damn sad considering that those friends who are going are your closest pals but oh well.

I aint angry, I am just disappointed. sad, and lonely.
anways guys, I hope you have a good time at debbie's without me, this is gonna be a real long and lonely night, while you guys have a good time partying and having a blast.

scram. I feel so empty now.

PLEASE DON'T STOP THE MUSIC

2008-03-13T02:18:00.000-07:00

I DONT WANNA BLOG ABOUT THE LAST 2 DAYS, CAUSE EVERYTHING I WANNA SAY IS IN ANG'S BLOG :D
BUT IT WAS A FUCKING GOOD NIGHT, DAWN!
THANKS EVERYONE!

All good things come to an end

2008-03-07T23:50:00.000-08:00

Its over.
We lost to Kent Ridge in the semis. I cant believe it.
And if you asked all the other players, they would say, its the ref's fault. And I would bloody agree with them cause its really the effing ref's fault! that bloody bias bastard. The match was stalemate all the way until in the middle of extra time when we scored to take the lead in that crucial period. and then after that, in the last minute, the bloody Kent Ridge player dived in our penalty box. Our defender clearly got the ball. But the effing player dived and the Ref gave them a penalty. wtf sia! we were all damn shocked and pissed the ref's decison caused they equalised through that penalty. gahh. So it had to boil down to a penalty shootout to decide the match. 3 of the times when kent ridge took the penalty, Aaron guessed the correct side, which one of them he saved. and he was unlucky he didnt save the rest, cause he made brilliant decisions in his diving to save. One of our player missed the sudden death penalty and so they won. fuck. oh wells.

We lost, But one think that our team have that is passion. We lost not as individuals but as one team. And whenever one of us were down, we would always pick each other up and encourage. and this really shows that we are united as a team! after the match, we shed our tears together, we lost as a team. and thats what matters. So yes, we are not in a finals, its a huge disappointment, but we can take this loss as a lesson to make ourselves stronger in the nationals. We are one of the stronger teams and we have yet to show other teams what we are really made of. Lets manifest our skills and prove to everyone that we are at the top level. Kent Ridge were just lucky on that day, I dont think they'll make it far for nationals. And I swear, If we meet them in the nationals, We are gonna give them a thrashing they'll never forget. Come on Gabrielites. Lets forget about this and focus on nationals. We are good and we can go far. All out St Gabs!

Today, was the last day of school! whooohoooo! So school was kinda slack.
After school, Part of H utd when to j8! (: we had a picnic in the playground. haha.
We were goofing around like goofballs there, we tore newspapers and squashed them up into balls and kicked them around! haha.
Mike B had to go back home first so we waited for him. After that, we took bus 56 from bishan to head to suntec for the IT fair. All the electronic gadgets being sold at cheaper prices. whooohoo! too bad I didnt have money :/
The bus ride was fun! We all talked about the complicated mysteries of the world and supernatural and abour other random stuff. Really awesome! Should have more of these talks! (:
We walked hell alot around suntec and the IT fair until alot of us got so dizzy and exhausted. Ang bought a mouse and Mat bought a earpiece. While the rest just acted retarded especially mike and chua. LOL. And also until it got late. A few of them when back including me, while the rest had dinner. Took a train to Bishan where my dad picked me up and yeap home.

Today was Magnifico Guys!
Lets speak more Gibberish! LOL.
Ya RRRRRRIGHT!
Tmrw is flag day! remember the plan guys * insert evil laughter*

ONE STEP CLOSER

2008-03-05T04:49:00.000-08:00

Oh look at the time. you know what that means.
champions league football again! haha.
second legs in the round of 16. with arsenal and milan still stalemate. while manu are up by one goal. in the first half that is.

And speaking about football. We beat Queenstown sec 2-0! it wasnt really a crucial game. as we were alr through. But the match got quite heated up! lots of small fights which were uneccesary. 4 queenstown players got yellow cards including one stupid player who got a red card cause he lost his head and kicked the ball away as a decision got against him. really stupid. And the thing is, our team did not get any cards, cause we play smart and we dont lose our heads for nothing. Anyways, we dont care about that! we got more important fixtures to worry about than that stupid match. haha! like the semis which are coming up. most prolly against kent ridge sec whom we beat earlier in the 1st round qualification by the score of 3-0 so we would want to repeat that romp! (:

COME ON GUYS, ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE FINALS. I CAN FEEL IT, WE CAN FEEL IT.

No beer for me!

2008-03-02T02:30:00.000-08:00

Today was quite a day!
Played at the cage today! Ryan's birthday party! what a way to celebrate it!
haha, it was imba man! It was really fun and tiring of course! But it was worth it all. (:
After the cage, had to cut the cake for the birthday boyy. so after all that, it was like nearly 10.00. so had a damn late dinner at Leisure Mall. haha, and Glenn was being a retard. haha.
Surin, Patiban and I were like talking cock too. haha. Then after that watched soccer at Ryan;s Club. SRC. At first, we were not allowed to enter cause Ryan was only a junior member. So we sneaked in from the back where there were no guards patroling that area. spot of luck there. haha. Some old uncles joined us too in making fun of other teams. damn funny. Arsenal managed to salvage a point right at the depth. They were really lucky as they did not perform up to their standards. And Man utd cruised to another victory.
After the matches. Cabbed with Ryan, Marvyn and Sambo. Dropped off at bishan and Ryan's dad fetched us. haha.
Today was really fun! Thanks Ryan for the party :D

And I am also happy, not for myself but for the team, that we made it through to the semis and the national championship. We really worked tremendously hard for this and it has payed off. (:
We have won 7 out of 7 now! thats quite a feat!

St Gabs Sec 2 Serangoon Gardens Sec 1

We scored two early goals. thats the killer blow we gave. and After that, we took it a bit easy. which resulted in a goal in the second half for the opponents. They came at us like steamrollers in the second half, but we worked together as a team to defend and thats what kept them trying and trying but not getting the equaliser. We just did not let them play the final ball. We have bonded as a team, on the field as well as off the field. All the way guys!

I just have that feeling that I let a few people down today, for one reason or another. I just have that feeling. Its peculiar, but its just there.

Its 2.30 in the morning. gonna K.O any minute now. ciao!

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal, for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see

Magnifico.

2008-02-27T22:33:00.000-08:00

wdgeiudwodewniofdhewiferoerpeoqwegergerwedbkadwhirwqeiuedegwdgqkdiw
sdedheoworede
dhde9re9rewhrwer. There's like nothing to blog about......

Except,

ST GABS 4 ST ANDREWS 2

Played at grange road ( teacher's network ) haha nostalgia! love those times we played our games there.
during the first half, we were a bit off and we didnt dominate possesion and gave away the ball cheaply at times. It was a 1-1 at the break. But we really made a huge comeback in the second half. we were more composed with the ball and in control rather than the first half. the previous match I played like shit, so I knew I wasnt gonna start the game. But I came on late in the second half and I played quite well ( well definetly better than the last game ) not trying to boast or anything. But I knew I made an impact one way or another. like the assist I made for dan, who scored another hatrick! congrats to him! that goal was superb, the one-two passing and the finish. Aaron also made a damn good save in the first half. I can see our team is getting stronger every game. and our next match in on friday against serangoon gardens secondary who beat queenstown 6-0 before our game. so its not gonna be a ride in the park isnt it? But I know we can go all the way (:

This Suffering.

2008-02-25T23:40:00.000-08:00

BBBBBORING! Just this fugly one word describes what kind of day(s) I have or have been having. -.-
I say this, cause I actually have the time to study. haha. oh well, maybe its just that I feel like studying and not that I have nothing else to do.

Tore a humungous hole in my pants in school thanks to some of my "horny" classmates. Assholes sia yall! haha! luckily the zip did not come off. okay... why I am ranting about this? :o

Apart from all that, things arent really going too smoothly. Not gonna elaborate though. I guess its only NOW that I realise how awful life can get. like seriously. Only now I realise that I cant trust everyone. Let them take control of me for a while, they take control of me for long term. They eat up my brain. In the end, I get all the shit. life's just like that for the moment. People just enjoy manupilating and then they expect certain individuals to put up a happy front in pleasing them like as if nothing has happened. Well if thats the case, I dont need alot of friends. I can just have the few best ones that will stick with you through ups and downs. People who pretend to be someone their not, they arent worth being friends. cause what they do is try and please someone by acting in a certain way and doing certain things. Why cant they just be themselves. Fuckedy fuck, I need to scream.

Eduardo Da Silva Broken Leg - The most popular videos are a click away

Omg I am seriously damn freaked out about eduardo's injury. just look at that. ,OUCH!, I cant imagine if I had that kind of injury. oh man! & I really feel so sorry for him. Though I am not an Arsenal supporter, I still respect him as a footballer and he really commits himself to arsenal and its really sad to see a player who gives so much for the club to get that kind of injury at this level. I mean he is still young and earning money and all that, but the thing that really hurts the most is not being able to play the beautiful game in a beautiful arena for over a year. the joy and passion of playing the beautiful game instantly gone because of one melicious tackle. Well I really hope he is alright and yes, HE WILL BE BACK.

Come on, come on
Put your hands into the fire
Explain, explain
As I turn and meet the power
This time, This time
Turning white and senses dire
Pull up, pull up
From one extreme to another

From the summer to the spring
From the mountain to the air
From Samaritan to sin
And it's waiting on the end

I hate you, fucktART

2008-02-24T22:15:00.000-08:00

I could not blog yesterday cause I had freaking lots of work to do. =/
So I shall rant about yesterday first.

Saturday.
Had to wake up early for POA remedial lesson. -.-
we had the lesson at 4E6 classroom I think. haha cant remember.
then me and JK found a english-japanese dictionary under some guy's table.
The lesson was monotonous and boring so me and Jk took a piece of paper and wrote some english sentences and searched the dictionary for the japanese pronunciation. damn funny! then we use them to scold the rest. haha!
After the remedial. Some of us stayed back to play a lil rugby in our school. I suck at tackling so All I did was ran down the flanks and "burned" most of them. haha! Peter was like smashing through everyone cause of his size but his Inertia really lousy! made him dizzy. haha.
It was damn fun lar! haha. then went home. studied. did lots of art work ( teacher called my mom to force me to do wth -.- )which ruined plans for the day and chem homework which was difficult. Went to Ryan's house to watch the match between Newcastle and Man Utd. & Manu gave Newcastle a thrashing! Oh and the earlier match between Arsenal and Birmingham, Eduardo probably got the worst injury ever, like seriously. The way he fell, his leg landed in a way that his ankle was pressed to the ground and his limbs were still up straight! OUCH! SO ITS LIKE 90 DEGREES. ouh man! it was nasty! He cant play soccer for like nearly 2 years I think. thats what the Arsenal coach said. OH MAN! fell asleep nicely after that. (:

TODAY
Had to wake up freaking early again cause I had to go to the doctor's. sigh.
got the medicine, came home and guess what. Had to do more art. ouch! there goes my morning.
Went for mass with my mom. Came home, Studied physics.
Met up with Peter and Jared at ang mo kio then we took a cab to yio chu kang. our usual kickabout pitch! waited for the rest to arrive. I dont know why, I felt damn shack. Even during the first 15 minutes of playing. So I played like shit!
And now I am here, still doing my effing art and revising more physics. cause of the test tmrw.
I swear, I hate my art teacher now! fucking full of nonsense. I hope she retires by this year or I'll retire .

I need pills

2008-02-21T04:45:00.000-08:00

Its 4.45 am and I am awake. why?
Cause there's champions league soccer.
2 highly anticipated matches on screen! Arsenal vs Milan & Lyon vs Man Utd.
Its half time now. and both matches stalemate. Both the english sides are like dominating. so thats good I guess. (:

See what soccer CAN do? haha. I actually can wake up in the middle of the night for this. whereas on normal days, It would be the biggest struggle to even get up at 6.30 am to get ready for school.

Oh and I really don't know how I am gonna avoid sleeping during school later. Thank god there is no like soccer training/match. Oh yeah and the stupid class trip to METTA Home. where we have to entertain old people. ~~How "fun"~~

Alright, I am gonna head back to my trusty couch to catch the second half. :D
Will update later in the day. ciao.

We are cruising

2008-02-20T08:48:00.000-08:00

St gabs sec 3 Guangyang 0

Wowzee! We won all our games in the first group stages which means we topped the group! (: And not only that. We scored 18 goals in 5 games. thats like an avergae of 3.6 goals per game! NOW THATS SOMETHING TO BOAST ABOUT! Our team this year is like super strong! I have a feeling we will go all the way this year. But we also cannot afford to be complaicent.

Before the match I was feeling alright and I thought I was ready to play. But as I got on the pitch and made the first few runs, I kinda struggled. Although My knee was a million times better than yesterday, I wasnt fit to play yet, as I felt the sting every step I took. So as a result, I played like shit. I got subbed out after like 20 mins of the match. wah shit, I could tell my coach was damn pissed with my performance. Oh man. Why didnt I tell my soccer coach I was still unfit to play and carried on. Why was I so dumb enough to think that just because my knee got better, I could survive the match. Its my fault I didnt tell the truth. sighs. Oh well, I just gotta focus. Give my best during trainings and pick myself up again and improve from what I have in ability. And I certainly need help. But I have to help myself first. thats most important.

The hardest part is letting go of
Your dreams

I hope

2008-02-19T22:18:00.000-08:00

Skipped school today cause of my injury and simply cause I am lazy. haha.
Got a call from a friend. He told me 987 came to our school today for assembly!
Wasted. ~~I regret not going to school today.~~
:(

Anyways, Today was spent mostly doing math and catching up on some other topics at home.
And I felt that today did not go entirely to waste. yup (:
And so after doing loads of work. I still had plenty of free time. I wanted to relax by playing guitar hero 3 which I did. I am quite happy cause I mastered most of the songs on medium mode! haha. see who can beat my scores now. :D
But my fingers got sore after playing, but it was worth it I guess. So it wasnt really a form of relaxation huh.

Tmrw is the last game of the first group stages of our tournament against Guanyang Sec.
I hope I miraculously recover by tomorrow. Please God help me. (:

I am sorry for not being there for you.
I am sorry for just aimlessly throwing words at you to give you hope.
I am sorry for taking you for granted.
I am sorry for everything.

Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding on to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

Fatigue creeps in

2008-02-18T22:43:00.000-08:00

The weekend was rather the same old stuff.
nothing much to update on.

On Friday,
I bought this really awesome Zara tee! :D
and berms from giordano! which originally was priced at $49 but I got it for $20 cause of some special lunar new year 60% of everything! WHOOHOO!
Sam bought the same berms for like $38 la cause he bought it like before the lunar new year.
HAHA. loser.

other than that. today was shit. like totally. I am like so prone to injuries now :/
ugh, sucks. I sprained my knee badly. And I've been super tired these days.

St Gabs 6 AcsI 3

The match was fairly easy to be honest. no trouble at all. The 3 goals they scored are quite lucky as well. All they do is just kick the ball up and see what happens. Not really a good team at all. Not saying we are world class, but at least we know how to play football the way it should be. :D
( no offence to ACS I though, they gave their best. )

we are definetly through to the next group phase. its just a matter of whether we finish first or second in our group to determine easier or better opponents in the next round.

I am injured. I don't feel good
And I am gonna sleep yo.
ciao,

A breath of sunshine

2008-02-13T22:32:00.000-08:00

GOSH! It took me like 15 minutes to actually get out of bed this morning! I was that "dead". Slept for like 3 whole periods during school! Didnt absorb anything whatsoever from any lessons today. I did nothing for art also. haha.

Oh and tmrw is valentines day! oooooo. ~~Love is in the air huh.~~ blah blah! haha.
I am sure LOTS of people have big plans for tomorrow. that I am sure of it :D

Well I have got to say, this week has been tiring but fulfilling. cause In january I was like slacking my self off. from school, from everything. But now, I am doing loads of work and revisions. YES, MICHAEL EDWARDS IS STUDYING. UNBELIEVABLE. but true. Cause I realised that I have been missing out on lots of lessons due to soccer matches. And I really had to catch up on work. Have been writing alot of notes & my hands are soar! Tomorrow is Geog test and I AM prepared. Yeap.

ST GABS SECONDARY 3 KENTRIDGE SECONDARY 0
yes, this time we didnt concead any goals! haha
Mohli scored 2 while I came on as a sub to poke in the last goal. ha!
and this brings our avergae goal tally to 3 goals per game! woah. :D
WE ARE GETTING STRONGER.

It's driven me before and it seems to be the way
That everyone else gets around.
But lately I'm beginning to find that when
I drive myself my light is found.

Picture perfect, pathetic

2008-02-11T23:30:00.000-08:00

WHY WHY WHY I am like so super tired today? haha. I could'nt really like focus and concentrate today! Must be weather (or not)

~~Check this out.~~ This cant get anymore lucky. haha. Today was supposedly the doomsday for my class cause there were supposes to be 3 class tests assigned for us to do today. POA, GEOG AND SS! OHGAWD! but my class had health screening for the two geog periods so in the end geog test got cancelled! :D

Then POA! shit, I was like ~~thinking to myself,~~" Please please be cancelled!"
so after anxiously walking into the POA class. 4N2 had health screening during that period so since 4n2 combine with us for POA. the test could not proceed! :D

& finally SS! had soccer match so the soccer boys got dismissed early! so I didnt take the test! :D and I was so relieved! cause to be honest, I didnt freaking touch any form of books or paper(angbaos exceptional) :D

SO YEAH, I WAS LIKE OVER THE MOON! blah. lalala.

Oh and ST GABS won btw! haha. by the score of 3-2 against Beatty Secondary!
suprisingly I started the game. and scored as well. some lucky tap in! OH WELLS! :D
our team is like damn strong this year! played 2 won 2! ALL THE WAY!

I'm tired. Off to bed I go :D

Foooyoh!

2008-02-10T22:45:00.000-08:00

TODAY WAS A BLAST! :D
thanks everyone!

stupid cops! got into a shit the day before yesterday. =/
dont want to elaborate on it though. fuck.

& you know that its so cliché
To tell you that everyday,
I spend with you is the new best day of my life.
& everyone watching us,just turns away with disgust.
This jealously they can see, that we've got it going on
I'm rackin' my brain for a new improved way.
To let you know you're more to me than what I know how to say,
You're ok with the way this is going to be.
Cause this is going to be the best thing we've ever seen.
If anyone could make me a better person, you could
All I gotta say is I must have done something good.
You came along one day and you rearranged my life.
All I gotta say is I must have done something right.

Morning 'X'ning

2008-02-06T19:07:00.000-08:00

This world is really giving me alot of headaches. ahh enough bout that.
Actually today I didnt wanna go school. But yesterday ang told me the boys were gonna play soccer after skewl so as you know, me having a weakness for soccer, I couldnt say no! so in the end I went!
WAH SHIT SIA! I didnt eat breakfast! and as a result my stomach freaking ached like mad during school. =/ just one of those days.. that I am so stupid to skip breakfast. Actually cause I woke up a lil too late. ha
haha. this years school lunar celebration in the hall was rubbish. felt like sleeping but there were teachers around so yah. :(
it was so full of crap la. supposed to be lunar new year celebration, then in the middle of the celebration, some idiots were made to perform a hip hop dance! wtf. how does hip-hop dancing relate to cny? hmmmm. makes mee wonder.
After the most pathetic day of school, we all headed to st mikes.(screw sji junior) st mikes shall be the name "WE" still call it.
Jat, William and some other old st mikes boys were alr there when we came. so he had a kickabout game in the tarmet area. haha it was damn fun! then after a few games, The bloody school servant (some old woman) asked us to leave the area. so fuck, we left! the st mikes boys left. and we headed to Velocity to eat lunch. sat, stoned for while. the usual talk (laughs) then we headed to bishan to play more soccer! it was freaking exhausting la! and after that. yes home. lol. got some big dinner later. I cant wait for the pork ribs. YUMMY :P
OMG it may be slack this week, but next week there is gonna be hell loads of tests! DIE. better get studying (ya right) (:

I need to find a way to say the things I need to say.
But its so hard to find the perfect words and perfect time.
Through the times I'm just not sure,
If I can take much more.
And my path has shift and turned.
I found the words I am seaching for.

I dont Wanna wait.
I just want to bury the memories,
And carry on with these.
And If you wonder why.
Then I'll tell you,
I'm tired of things you brought around.
Life is much better now.

Passion's killing floor

2008-02-05T11:37:00.000-08:00

Life sucks. it just does.
why the fuck do I keep feeling this way. like something's tearing me down and I cant do anyhting about it.
My life is filled with people full of lies and disguise. like myself as well. fuck.
No one bloody cares at all. They just pile up all the shit on your head because youre an easy victim. And really, You may think I am some kind of fucked up loser demoralizing myself and all that, but I am tired of putting a happy front in pleasing everybody. cause everytime I say I am okay, I am fucking not.
honestly I'm tired of trying to fit in. Its really stupid. Trying to get in with everyone, but in the end its a battle, where fakeness rules everyone's faces. And then what they do, they use you. for what? everything. Money, especially. and sometimes for their dirty work. And after they are done taking advantage of you and have had their fun, They fucking leave you out of their lives. This is the fucked up shit I am going through now.
My life has also been inhabited by a beast. My dad. I mean, he is a cool dad and all but sometimes he can be the most unreasonable fag in the universe.
Just because I was too tired to study in the night and told him I would get up in the morning to study, he fucking got pissed. And then as usual, the lecture. It kinda got a tensed up and then he whacked me with a guitar. YES, a fucking guitar okay! twice on my head and one on the forehead, hard. One of my nerve near the side of my head burst. Yes thats the monstrous beast for you. My head still hurts and I am unwell now. And as a result, I didnt go school today. fuck now I am surely gonna have alot of work to catch up. sigh. I think I need to take a break, for EVERYTHING. Or maybe disappear from peoples lives. Cause I cant keep up with all the shit happening now. Not like anyone would care anyways.

I'll take a million lies.
I'll forget a million deaths.
Still warm blooded I fake this smile.
I'm stuck between birth and death.
I'm stuck between good and bad.
I watched friendships die for what?
Where does this loyalty lie today?
Mutiny will end us.
Promises will only break us.
Don't forget who you are today.